Thursday, July 22, 2010

It's Not For Everybody....

It’s Not For Everybody….

*It doesn’t count if you’re only attractive from one angle.

*Sometimes it’s too difficult of a task to make miserable people feel grateful. Sometimes you can only encourage their misery – but lets face it, thy don’t contribute too much to others anyway so, there may only be one way to weed the miserable out of the population ---- it involves encouragement.

*When an overly energetic child runs wild in public, their parent has a very short window of time to decide one of two things: They may choose to frantically chase after their offspring (which would propel the public audience to conclude the running wild and free thing was genetic and the child didn’t even have a chance to behave properly) OR walk briskly after the child and accept that at this speed, their child will never be apprehended, but they won’t catch as much attention from the public.

*In public, when a foreign language is spoken loudly, everyone immediately turns around to see the face from which that sound was produced. Almost like people need reassurance that anything that sounds foreign is still human and not animal or alien (of course, alien in a universal reference, not….immigration status)

*Book titles can be GENIUS and are the utmost entertaining for me. I spend too much time and money wandering thru Barnes&Nobles.

_how to sleep alone in a king-size bed: memoirs of moving on

_saving fish from drowning

_God called me stupid

_Naked to the Cankles: A fat girl’s need for love

_Your baby’s ugly: and other truths about motherhood


*There are very few norms: everyone is crazy, people just fire different crazy neurons in their braines.

*we like to use the failures/hurdles of successful people to help keep us motivated (for those of us who have goals) when pursuing a dream. We bank on the off chance. Unfortunately, the truth is MOST people should just accept the failure card. Not everyone is special or an anomaly. Einstein and Jordan failed before succeeding, that does not mean it is also your path. It is important to keep in mind the lessons in their failure are just for Hope and to show it is Possible – NOT probable. Odds are, when attempting something great, you’ll fail. That makes the victory extra sweet for those who succeed. Be ambitious but practical.

*wearing oversized darkened sunglasses is a license to be an asshole because you can bank on the chance that you did not see the random person smile in your direction, therefore, you are not required to smile back.

*When we see things on sale, that’s merely a suggestion to purchase the items. We then continue to further justify WHY it is even a better deal than is advertised.. so we feel better when we buy it: Moral compensation for monetary expenses.

*Im sure children are just as annoying (if not more) when theyre kidnapped, does this mean kidnappers are more tolerant than most people? If so, we can learn something from them.

*People who watch/follow al gore for educational/informational purposes are probably also perplexed by Blues Clues.

*Barnes and Nobles sells journals with biblical verses on the cover. Talk about Free writing. Writing in one of those diaries might make people feel…..their diary is always being read. Mother Teresa confessed her lack of faith in Christianity in her diary…maybe she would’ve been hesitant to do that had there been a verse on the cover.

*Do kids subconsciously use more hand gestures when they speak because they feel they are not as easily understood as adults?

*Kids are hilarious cute sweet innocent and beautiful- but they should not think they are cool amongst each other. Few things are worse than a child with a superiority complex.

*What do you think when you see a man walking around an outdoor mall with a pipe in his mouth? Modern day Popeye? How does one get into Pipe Smoking these days? I didn’t see if there was an anchor tattooed on his arm….but something gave me the feeling his living room must have a lot of dark wood, maybe a fireplace..and lots of newspapers.

*being a grown woman with a high samarai-styled Side pony tail (sitting towards the crown of the head..) hints emotional problems and perhaps chemical imbalances. She should probably come with directions.

*Mariah Carey may have been chased frequently thru the playground as a child and was able to hone and maintain the pitch of her scream thru the years from which an enormous career blossomed.

*I understand it is tough for a guy to react once he is denied a dance at the club. That being said, the solution is not to consistently ask, or even worse, ask “why not” .

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Damage-Control I

Hugh: for real. i think you and I have a similar chemical imbalance in our brains.

Our status quo - our default setting is to be products of our environments. It's the simplest thing: the current of our environment propels us in the direction it travels without our consent. Life is always about the journey- they say, but the cracks our clay endures sometimes never mend and mold into new lessons learned, instead the areas harden and they become our battle wounds.

That's where the stories come from: papa was a rolling stone, momma wasn't around.. and now I'm a stripper, for example. They're tragic stories, absolutely, but they're excuses. That's a bold statement, I realize, and offense you should probably take with a side order of fries. BUT its dangerous that that's how new norms are created: "well she's 14 and pregnant BUT, she grew up in a single-mother household around drugs..SO LIKE....!" Yiikes. whatever happened to perseverance? Overcoming adversity? When we allow our environments to damage us, we allow Where we presently are to be determined by factors out of our control. We cannot control our environments - we can't create other sane people with whom to surround ourselves- BUT we can accept what we have survived, and decide not to let it be the protocol for the future. Don't let an unfavourable past create a lower standard.

Something about damaged people inspires them to damage others. The Unbeknownst Damaged are the worst of the breed, they spread their bitterness as though the spit from their mouths was salt. We're all damaged, but to different extents..thus we do not all behave like Charles Manson..but sometimes maybe a watered down version of him. If you don't get into art school - we have to learn its not Okay to try to exterminate an entire people.

If you're damaged, that's fine, go back into your box and hope someone returns you back to the stork shop. Don't frolic amongst those of us who are capable of learning lessons and moving onwards. If misery loves company, the damaged should seek the damaged, perhaps through ads in the paper, and together they may congregate - as so guaranteed by our Constitution. This utopia is far from reach, however, because the damaged prefer to prey upon those of us who still retain sanity. I've mentioned this before, But i believe that us sane folk, if you will, should be armed (another Constitutional guarantee - boy where they thorough!) with............prozac..xanex..etc. And these medications should be effective if the dose is administered simply by having the medication thrown at the patients'..........head.

Take your insecurities, your irrationality, your impracticality, your unjustifiably skeptical behaviour and enjoy the company of the multiple personalities you will soon develop out of paranoia.

We're all fighting battles, but we're not all recovering.